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Wednesday, October 21, 2009
I was 20 when I married for the first time, the year was 1976 & I was very young & verrrry naive. I didn't think twice about changing my surname to that of That Other Husband (TOH), every new bride did it. 12 years later, when I grew up & wisely divested myself of TOH, I began to think about my name. I thought it would be a good opportunity amongst all the other changes I was experiencing to revert back to my original name. That surname is very unusual, & as I don't have any brothers & both my parents had died, I thought it would be good to at least carry on the family name in my life-time.
So I did it & it felt good, that is until I met MOTH. After getting over the initial surprise of his marriage proposal (although I still think to this day that MOTH was more surprised than me!!), I began to worry about the name issue again. I'd come to really like my new/old name again & was very reluctant to give it up. But I also didn't want to offend MOTH. I did some research & discovered it isn't a legal obligation for a woman to take her partner's name in marriage, it's just a social nicety. So that clinched the deal for me & I worked up the courage to broach the subject with MOTH.
I shouldn't have worried, as his immediate reaction was 'Doesn't worry me, please yourself'. Typical!! Then I thought about how we would communicate this to our family & friends. MOTH said not to worry, leave it to him, he'd cover it all in his speech at our Wedding. I dug the pic out of the wedding album of him announcing the news, with Son #1 looking totally disinterested! This how he did it.
'Now I need to let youse all know that Millie won't be changing her name to mine. (Audible gasp of horror from all the elderly Aunts sitting in the marquee!) As youse on my side of the family all know, our Family Coat of Arms has the motto 'Deeds Without Words' under the crest. And all of us who know Millie & her love of a chat, would understand that it would be TOTALLY IMPOSSIBLE for her to ever do a deed without speaking! As she couldn't possibly uphold our family traditions, she won't be allowed to take the name!'
Any thoughts? Did you or didn't you. And if you didn't, were there any dramas?
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