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Sunday, July 5, 2009
Poor MOTH has a big reputation around here as a technological dinosuar. I've only just been able to teach him how to attach a file to an email & up to recently, he'd couldn't text. So the boys recently gave him a quick intensive texting lesson & suddenly, as per usual, he was Mr. Expert. He asked me the other night what sexting was, & after explaining it to him, I told him I've never received one & that at 53 & 60 our sexting days are probably over before they've begun!
So when he came home after work late Saturday afternoon looking very smug & asked me did I like his lext, I was very puzzled.
'What's a lext?' was the obvious question.
'Oh, that's my new word Mills, a lext is a Lustful Text, great eh.' he says.
'Silly me, of course it is Darling, that's an 'interesting' word.'
'I reckon it's a ripper & you were whingeing the other night about never getting one, so I thought I'd better fix that pronto. Pretty good wasn't it!'
'Well I'm not sure, 'cos I never received it Heart of my Heart.'
'Oh sure you did love, you're joshing aren't you?'
'Nup, no new messages on my phone - see.'
Gulp & lengthy silence.
'Um, exactly how explicit was this lext Sweetheart?'
An even bigger gulp & lengthier silence.
'Oh, you could say it was fairly 'descriptive' Mills'.
'So on the Sizzle Scale how would you rate it Dear Heart.'
Shuffling of feet & absolutely no eye contact.
'Ummmm about an 18 out of 10.'
'Ummmm about an 18 out of 10.'
'I think you'd better hand over your phone & let me see if I can figure out what's happened my little Lext Chicken.'
Fumbling of phone & agitated sighing.
'You do know that's not my phone number under 'Wife' in your phone Contacts my little Stud Muffin.'
'Oh #!*?!*, are you sure? I was fiddling around yesterday & accidentally deleted the last 2 digits of your number, but I could have sworn I put in the right ones again. I copied them straight off your business card.'
'Boyfriend, I can see you did that, but you've entered them the wrong way round'.
What followed can only be described as a true Kodak moment! So to the person who received a very suggestive lext by mistake on Saturday afternoon, please return it. By the look on MOTH's face, it will be the first & last one I'll ever not receive from him!!!
And to the boys - my endless thanks for not showing him how to take photos with his phone & attaching them to messages!!! Although if you had & he did, then you would have well & truly won this year's Perpetual Family Practical Joke trophy (read more here and here) hands down!!!! I reckon that lext would be No 1. on youtube right about now!
Image 1: Things Happen 4 A Reason Image 2: RLV
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