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Sunday, February 21, 2010
Hi Miranda
Your man-fan MOTH here. Happened to notice you were launching your new organic skincare range KORA in DJ's last week. I presume this is predominantly for the female market. Now look Miranda, I'd like to become your new global Business Advisor & should start by pointing out to you that there are approximately as many males as females out there. Let me tell you that most of us blokes reckon you're just red hot & you could cool us down by launching the M.K. Beer Collection!!! So ditch the skin stuff & get your stunning self into malt & hops. For you NOT to do this would be grossly un-Australian for a great Aussie chick like yourself!
Miranda, I've been giving this new direction for your/our business empire much thought while slaving away this weekend in the Bathroom-From-Hell reno. I've found the perfect way you can avoid financial ruin in that over-crowded skincare s*#t fight. BEER IS THE ANSWER! No bloke could knock back a cold ale after a hard day at the coalface that's marketed with the slogan :
'HAVE A MIRANDA ON THE VERANDA'
Of course, if you were pictured in your Victoria's Secret gear on the bottle label this would be a financial advantage to all parties concerned (including your Business Advisor, yours truly). You could also include samples of the skincare range in each beer carton to keep everyone's Missus happy & this would result in more beer sales & help run out the KORA stock!! A truly masterful stroke of marketing genius if I don't say so myself.
I'll close now because Millie's due back any minute from her Advanced Mindreading class & I need to lodge this proposal for your urgent consideration. I am contacting my corporate legal team to prepare the paperwork for our partnership & the plans for the M.K. Brewery are ready for submission to the local Authorities just as soon as you give me the nod love. Please keep my proposal confidential for at least 7 days before consulting your legal team, Orlando & firing your current Business Advisor. During which time we can meet over a few different beer styles (sorry, no Noni juice adaptation) & arrive at the perfect M.K. beer formula to quench the thirsts of millions.
Please call me any time on 1800-HAVEIGOTADEALFORU (My Millie-proof phone).
Love MOTH.
P.S. What about incorporating a Victoria's Secret store in the Brewery retail complex? Another of my brilliant ideas - geez I'm good!
Image: KORA
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