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Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Watch Out Martha!


Good Morning dear Hedgies my name is MOTH. I would like to show you what I did on Christmas Eve, it was such a breeze to do, everyone should try it. Here's my quick & easy tutorial.

For this 'creative' project you'll need the following materials:
1 black cardboard gift box (glossy looked great).
1 roll of wide ribbon (I used navy gros grain).
1 roll of sticky tape.
6 white sticky labels (5 to stuff up, 1 to get right).
1 black felt tip pen.
Stapler.
Sharp scissors.
4 i-Tunes gift voucher cards.
2 $50 notes (the real deal, don't substitute photocopies).
6 stubbies (375ml. bottles of Coopers Pale Ale).
A comfortable chair.

Instructions:

1. Sit in chair & use remote control to switch on telly. Select Channel 10. It is essential that this channel is selected because it has the 2009 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. This particular show has essential 'reference' material.

2. Remaining seated, yell as loud as you can to Millie. Ask her to find all the above materials & bring them to you pronto. Do not take your eyes from the telly. Finish first stubbie.

3. Yell again to Millie, reminding her to hurry up. Do not take your eyes from the telly. Finish second stubbie.

4. Cut a length of ribbon about 1 metre long. Do not take your eyes from the telly. Finish third stubbie.

5. Beginning at the top of the ribbon attach the $50 notes & I-Tunes voucher cards alternatively. Use staples for the cash & sticky tape for the voucher cards. Do not take your eyes from the telly. Finish fourth stubbie.

6. Take one of the white sticky labels & using the felt tip pen write 'Pull Here' on it. Do not take your eyes from the telly. Finish fifth stubbie.

7. Carefully place completed ribbon in gift box ensuring the last piece of the ribbon with the 'Pull Here' tag is hanging out of the box. Place gift box under the Christmas Tree. Do not take your eyes from the telly. Finish sixth stubbie.

8. Feel sad when the visual 'reference' material is over.


9. Go straight to bed feeling very chuffed with yourself. Leave empty stubbies & craft materials spread all over living room floor. Millie will clean up all the mess, whilst muttering expletives under her breath. Complain loudly to Millie that she's woken you up when she finally falls into bed totally exhausted 2 hours later at 12.30a.m.

10. Wait anxiously on Christmas morning for Son #2 to open his gift.


11. Smile proudly when his reaction is 'Geez Dad, this is awesome!!!.' Add Craft Genius to your Resume.

Image 1: House Party Image 4 : Zimbio

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